- Sometimes it was my Favorite Uncle…
- Sometimes it was my Loving Neighbor…
- Sometimes it was my Best Teacher…
- Sometimes……..my Best Friend…
- Sometimes……..my school Bus Driver…
- Sometimes……..my Brother…with whom I always felt protected
- Sometimes……..my father whom I trusted most…
- And Sometimes ……..
In most of the cases sexual abusers are known to their victims – approximately 30% are relatives of the child, most often brothers, fathers, uncles, or cousins; around 60% are others such as “friends” of the family, babysitters, or neighbors. Strangers are the offenders in approximately 10% of child sexual abuse cases.
Yes Parents! This may be happening around with your dearest son or daughter…
They feel unsafe, they are upset, they are broken, they lose confidence, they are left with no hope, and many a times they might have thought of ending up life…
As parents we always wish our child to stay safe from any kind of abuse by anyone but still it’s happening and it’s important that we recognize the signs and changes in our kid’s behavior. We need to be passionate about protecting children and vigilant in watching same signs in other kids’ too.
Try to understand why kids are going so silent
Observe Early Warning Signs
- ￼sudden changes in eating patterns
- sleep problems or nightmares
- depression or withdrawal from friends or family
- mood swings
- afraid of certain people, place or situations
- trying to harm themselves
- scared of removing and changing clothes
- uncomfortable even being touched by parents
Find out! Why they are silent / afraid to reveal
- May be the Kid being threatened by abusers?
- May be the kid is too young to understand that they are abused.
- May be the kid is so sensitive and afraid of family reputation.
- May be the abusers told the kid that it’s merely a game and there is No harm in doing this.
- May be the abusers convinced the child that no one will believe them or somehow kids are responsible for the abuse and will be punished.
Trust and Let Them Speak Out
Our Prime responsibility is to protect our kids, trust them and make them comfortable to reveal any secrets to us which abusers asked to keep as a secret, if they break silence and come to us to share their pain, the trauma they are suffering with.
We have to help them heal by showering our love and affection to them, make them believe that we trust them the most, make them believe that nothing happened to their purity, reassure the child that whatever happened was not their fault, assuring them of future safety against those persons or acts.
Confront the abusers and strictly don’t allow them to play this heinous act to kids again in future.
Be vigilant and don’t let kids alone with relatives or strangers for long time to get them opportunity to attempt anything like this.
- Let your child know proper names of body parts like ‘Penis’ and ‘Vagina’ rather than saying private parts.
- Alert your child and let them know about sexual abuse at early age.
- Let your child know what body parts should not be touched by others and they should not touch others inappropriately too.
- Teach your child that they have right to to say ‘NO’ to unwanted or uncomfortable touch.
- Know the people around your kids and do check for them.
- Beware if someone is paying extra attention to the child and trying to spend time alone.
contributed by: Farha Tehseen
Chirpy and multi-talented proud mum of two handsome boys – Farha Tehseen – moved to Singapore 12 yrs back and got opportunities to work as AVP with international banks in Singapore for past 8 years.
She chose be a dedicated mom when her second child was about to be born. She is extremely happy with her decision to be a full time mom and focuses on raising kids and spending her time with them, when they need it most.
Thanks Farha Tehseen for contributing this wonderful article to RainbowDiaries.com
Note: all images are taken from internet by the author.